Why I Drank and Why You Don’t – A Spiritual Journey

Why I Drank and Why You Don't - A Spiritual Journey

Why I Drank and Why You Don’t – A Spiritual Journey

I admit, I drank too much, to the point of being hospitalized. Was there something fueling me to die? Do normal people do this?

This post is not going to be about my sob story. . .

I want to see if others have gotten close to death like I did, self-imposed.

Why do some people self-destruct, while others flourish?

Is it environmental?


I lived in a small town most of my life.

The crowd I hung around was into being rebellious.

Most kids outgrow this rebelliousness, but I kept digging a shallow grave.

I had always been insecure.

Well, there was probably a confident boy at one time, and my parents remember him, but I don’t, except for seeing pictures of myself smiling when I was five.

Since I was insecure, I really took to the liquid confidence that alcohol produced.

The buzz from alcohol gave me ecstatic energy and wild highs for a long time.

One friend of mine who watched me drink one night, stated: “Alcohol is like Ritalin for you, isn’t it?”

I felt immortal and witty.

Later in life I realized I could be like this without alcohol if I just loved myself.

But, where did the love go?

Why do we hide behind these self-destructive things?

Why are we so fucking insecure?


Here’s 5 of my best brutally honest posts:


Here’s where I changed my life and maybe you can relate:

At 32, my body gave me a pretty big sign that I was going down the wrong path when I was airlifted to the state hospital for a heart-attack.

The craziest part of that was that I thought the attack was a fluke and partied even harder for four more years.

I finally woke up when I was so tired of swimming around the same small fishbowl as all my other loser friends.

I got sober, healthy and moved out of that town.

I read leadership books, instead of drunken poets, like Charles Bukowski.

Charles Bukowski

I began reprogramming my mind with what I listened to, ate, drank and how I exercised.

I let go of the past. Eckhart Tolle changed my focus to the Power of Now.

Most of our fears and anxieties are caused by looking into the past or into the future.

But, there’s still a deep insecurity there.

My wife and I are going to Peru to do Ayahuasca.

In the meantime, I have stopped most of my old habits, like Rocking.

I live in a new kind of fear, that of unknowing, which I guess is the best place to be for inner-growth.

What are you doing to face your fears?

I think when we get comfortable, that becomes a slow death sentence.

Sure, I want to relax and eat crap like the next guy, but I don’t want to wake up when I’m 60 and still be acting like a punk.

Do you know what I mean?

There was some kind of programming in me from my past that said, “Losing in life is cool. Don’t be a Sheeple like the rest.”

This old programming turned out to be my Ego tricking me into doing what was easy instead of developing as a mature man.

Yes, dying is easy compared to working on your deepest setbacks and fears.

I’m sure if you’re reading this you’re not wasted.

And, maybe you want to make a difference in this world.

It doesn’t matter when we want to start a new path, as long as we find the path to begin with.

Buddha stated: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

When I was truly ready to start my transformation from almost dead to moderate online success, I was mysteriously introduced to the book Think and Grow Rich.

From there, I was introduced to longer and longer books, webinars and self-development courses.

It takes more than just “hitting bottom” to rediscover yourself.

It also takes a drive that you had since you were a little child to succeed at any cost.

When I finally got sober, I was walking with my mom around the neighborhood one afternoon.

I was already in my forties, but I looked at her while we walked like I looked at her when I was an optimistic child and said: “I’m going to do something big, mom. I feel it.

I knew right there that I had made a promise to her.

I was her survivor. . .

She had seen me shaking with alcohol withdrawals just a couple years earlier.


I was making the biggest promise of my life to her. . .

Have a story you want to share?

Please comment below and let’s blow this fear shit out of the water.


Erik MLM Johnson Marketer

Share your story with a BLOG.


Erik Christian Johnson is a Entrepreneur, writer, full-time Network Marketer and Blogger. He shares tips on various topics including: Network Marketing tips, how to work full time from Home, and God. He is also the #1 recruiter in his primary business. His blog is summed up as being: "edgy personal development with a twist of financial freedom."

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8 thoughts on “Why I Drank and Why You Don’t – A Spiritual Journey”

  1. That hit home for me. My circumstances were different but I can relate to what you are saying and I am happy to see were you are now….. Thanks for the great post….Keep it up………

    1. I’m glad you can relate, John. It’s hard for people to admit their deepest feelings and insecurities, especially on a blog. I believe this honesty is going to spread and become more a part of bloggers content strategy, because we crave more meaningful connections. Thanks again for reading this and sharing.

  2. Erik, I lost one brother to drug addiction, one brother to suicide, and another brother currently suffers from mental disorders. I feel a sense of survivors guilt in a way, but at the same time, feel blessed that I was given something a bit different that allowed me to succeed through multiple challenges in my life. That something I was given was being involved in team sport. My life could have been very different had I not been active and involved in sport from a young age. It was my go to saving grace which I am thankful for to this day.

    I am now a presenter, keynote speaker, and consultant and work with educators helping them to understand the power that they have to change lives forever. I continue to learn every day and be very aware of my addictive tendencies. I work hard to share this learning with my own children and to take initiative and action in my own life to strive for both personal and professional excellence. Life continues to be an extremely rewarding journey of both ups and downs, but I’m very proud of myself for continuing to move forward just as I am sure you are too for taking charge of your own life. Thanks for sharing your story.

    1. Thanks so much for sharing, Andrew! What a tough environment for you, but the courage you have by staying focused on team sports is what it will take for you to stay alive. When I got sober, I immediately started playing racquetball again and playing drums. Anything creative that would make me feel good. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a brother or sister. We had a little mental illness on my dad’s side, but mostly just depression. My sister gets a little blue once in awhile and has been on anti-depressants. It’s a crazy world and it can drive us insane if we focus on the negative downward spiral. I choose to think positively as much as I can because I know that we empower what we focus on and I know I’ve seen hell just by focusing on the wrong things. There truly is a heaven or hell on Earth. It’s our goal to leave in heaven as much as possible, amidst all the suffering. Thanks again, Andy, your story means a lot, especially on here.

  3. Your story inspired me. Though I have never been an alcoholic, I have my own addictions, fears, and insecurities yet “I did wake up one day and decide it was time to change”. The change has taken almost 8 years and I’m sure it will continue. I was brought up in a family that did go to Positive Motivational seminars. I was even sent to a camp to change my own attitude. I have that story on my blog, but my first step was just realizing I had lost sight of that positive person I used to be and went in search for her again. I’m not rich or famous and I did just finish on online degree as a Holistic Wellness Practitioner. All of this happened, because I took that first step in getting back to a positive state of mind. My first 2 books that brought me back to myself were ‘Creating Affluence’ by Deepak Chopra and of course ‘The Secret’, lol! Who hasn’t read that? I appreciate your story and although I’ve been following you on Twitter, I really didn’t know yours, so Thank You! ~Jen

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