Men used to be men – now, many of them still live with their parents and play video games 12 hours a day. Here’s the Top 10 Ways How to Stop Being a Man-Child.
I’m not pointing the finger at anyone really because I was a man-child myself, but in a different way.
This New Year’s of 2018, I stopped one of the longest, most insidious, 37 year old addictions: Rocking.
Yes, I rocked back and forth – like an Autistic adult.
I’ve been doing this ever since I was 8 while watching the “Muppet Show” with my parents.
Luckily, my parents were cool and never questioned it, and back then not many people were label crazy and tried getting me to see a counselor.
It was a happy childhood – living in a sheltered town of 7,000 people.
But, being 45 now, and wanting to bring in more light and love, and maturity, all addictions had to go.
I literally killed my old identity in a hotel room New Year’s day.
My wife, who is an energy healer, performed the “Death Rites” on me – a Shamanic practice of killing the old you and bringing in a completely new you.
Over the years, I have slowly knocked off an addiction or two – including alcohol, cigarettes and porn – now I added sugar, rock music, and rocking.
Yes – even rock music had to go because it did cause adrenalin to flow and made me crave “more.”
Just craving “more” is a dangerous place to be for an addict.
How to Stop Escaping
While quitting these addictions, I noticed that I was basically an empty shell of a man.
I was so used to escaping into my addictions and other distractions, that I didn’t form normal “coping skills.”
If things got bad, I simply retreated into seclusion with my addiction of choice – sometimes stacking addiction upon addiction in one night and still being left unsatisfied and feeling empty.
Now, I want to fill up that empty shell of a man, which led me to really think about what elements or aspects make up a man.
Here’s the Top 10 Ways How to Stop Being a Man-Child
One – Independent
One of the biggest indicators that you have officially become a man is to be financially independent; you don’t need mom and dad’s help in covering your bills.
When I was 18, my dad kicked me out of the house whether I was ready or not – back then we butted heads a lot, so leaving wasn’t super hard, but I was instantly super poor and slept on friend’s floors for a few years.
Being on my own at an early age only made me stronger because the survival instinct kicked in.
Two – Not Dependent on fictional characters from TV and Video Games
There is a huge video game epidemic around the world and there’s already a lot of video game treatment centers in Asia – a few people have already died from playing videos more than sustaining their bodies with things like water and food.
TV is no better, with very addictive shows like Game of Thrones, it’s incredibly hard NOT to watch TV. The average American watches like 6 hours a night. Unplug that crap and turn your own life into something just as entertaining.
Three – Not Swirly or Secretive or down right Sociopathic
Real men can look people in the eyes and not look away. Man-children usually do weird things behind closed doors, like masturbate to video game characters, so they feel shame and can’t really look anyone in the eyes.
Once you stop doing secretive, shameful things, you can then look anyone in the eyes.
Four – Takes Ownership – Not a victim
Real men realize that they have crafted their own life, just like a fine beer. If something arises that is unsavory, they take responsibility in resolving it, rather than blaming everything and everyone around them.
When I was getting arrested and cheated on, I pretty much knew I had created that. Now, as I live a life of my dreams, those bad things cease to happen.
Five – Empathy – can feel someone else’s emotions or see through their eyes
Man-childs are usually underdeveloped mentally and cannot experience the emotions of another person. They only care about what they can get for themselves. Some man-childs are borderline sociopaths and fantasize regularly how they can become the next Unibomber.
Six – Vulnerable – can cry
Real men can share their whole range of emotion and can cry just as easily as laughing. Real men of today are not the real men of the 80’s and 90’s where they all thought they couldn’t cry, because their fathers would whip them.
Seven – Humble – Not an egomaniac
Real men realize early on that life always has the upperhand. There will always be a person or experience that is bigger and badder than them.
The best method to harmonize with a good life is to stop fighting it or trying to defy it – you will only struggle more battling upstream; Turn around, let go, and let the river of life carry you easily to your destination.
Eight – Not a Sexist – Women Rock
Man-childs don’t have another maturity to see a woman as an equal – they only see their first “crush” who hurt them badly in fourth grade.
Nine – Seeking higher meaning and is teachable
Real men understand that there is a higher power at play here – and they want to comprehend it as much as possible. Real men have usually undergone some powerful, spiritual journey and want to understand more.
Ten – Honors himself and others
Real men understand that their body and mind is a temple to be revered, not destroyed by trashy TV and trashy food. They also honor their parents, grandparents, and others in general. There is always something to learn from everybody – no matter what age, race, or gender.
Thanks for reading the Top 10 Ways How to Stop Being a Man-Child.
There is nothing more satisfying then becoming a man – even if it’s in your forties.
Check out my Actualized Man page for more tips on becoming a cool motherfu…
Erik Christian Johnson is a full-time blogger, self-development advocate, and full-time network marketing Entrepreneur.