Healing Past Trauma with an Energy Healer – Session 2
I’ve been dealing with social anxiety and past trauma. Here’s my experience Healing Past Trauma with an Energy Healer – Session 2.
I finally wanted to stop running from myself and my past and actually go to an energy healer to remove this inner-turmoil.
I had been sober for about 8 years, but I felt like a walking void. I didn’t feel like I had a personality anymore and I was terrified of social situations.
Since my wife is a practicing energy healer as well, she recommended that I go see her teacher.
The first session was deep and awkward at the same time.
I had to look at some harsh memories when I was 4.
It surprised me to learn that one incident from when we are just four years old can shape the rest of our lives.
I’m not embarrassed to tell you that the incident was me getting spanked rather hard in public.
I had also wet myself a little as cars passed.
See, my dad told me not to pick up some fiberglass as we got out of the car to pee in some bushes.
Of course, being four and curious, I ran over and picked up the fiberglass.
My dad then grabbed my arm and spanked me ferociously several times as car passed by.
I was crying as I wet my pants.
I was embarrassed also because I knew the passing cars could see me getting spanked.
So, the first session was bringing the “inner-child” back.
He was scared and basically hiding deep inside me.
I had a lot of defenses up and had rocked on my bed (like autistic children do) from the age of 8 to 45.
I wanted to stop running and hiding using rocking, sex, drugs, the usual suspects. . .
Session 2 with an Energy Healer
I was more scared the second time visiting the energy healer.
I think that was due to my ego knowing that it would get slaughtered through deep loving spiritual work.
We recapped a little from our last session, how I didn’t like to sit still.
My whole life I gravitated to things that involved movement and creativity, like drumming, racquetball, dancing, sex, jogging, boxing, etc.
Sitting still threatened my “sense of freedom.”
Somewhere inside me, stillness equated to “growing up.”
Rocking was a mechanism I created when I was 8 to defy my dad’s rules of the house, because I didn’t want to play by his rules or be like him when I grew up.
My dad represented order, so I became the opposite – disorder, wrecking my life in the process from numerous jobs and broken relationships to a near fatal heart-attack when I was 32 from alcohol.
What’s interesting is that my dad didn’t want to be like his dad.
His dad was disorder – an alcoholic who frightened my dad on numerous drunken occasions.
My dad went on to become a perfectionist and a super hard worker.
Everything he restored (he restored cars and old gas engines) was a masterpiece – beyond factory specs.
My grandfather was a selfish drunk who split apart from his wife because he wanted to live in sunny california, rather than rainy oregon.
If anything, I was that selfish person as well and didn’t want to live in a house of complete “order.”
The energy healer tracked my emotions and we pinpointed some other situations from my past, like when I kind of lost respect for my father because of a situation he got into with my uncle.
I thought my dad was a rock before that.
But, then I realized that my dad and I are both extremely sensitive.
The energy healer wanted me to look at my sensitive side, to love it, even though I thought it was a sensitive and awkward geek.
She also wanted me to integrate order and my creativity into one thing, like Yoga.
Yoga is order and flow at the same time.
In order for me to not think sitting still is growing up and boring, I should create a schedule of organized Yoga.
The scheduling of Yoga (20 minutes every morning at 10AM) will instill order, that I secretly crave, with my flowing creativity side.
I will feel free while embarking on order.
This is my assignment for the next two weeks.
Sorry, I can’t formulate anymore thoughts about the appointment.
There was laughter and tears and I felt stoned afterwards, but the best sober high in the world, probably because a lot of weight came off my shoulders.
Thanks for reading.
Stay tuned for more sessions!
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Erik Christian Johnson is a full-time blogger, self-development advocate, and full-time network marketing Entrepreneur.